Open-Closed-Confused....

One of the things I truly enjoy doing is talking with my believer friends.  They think so differently than I do-- not badly, or worse-- just different.  For instance, today I was feeling a bit fiesty and decided to broach the subject of magical versus critical thinking with a friend who is a firm believer in a very marginalized spiritual practice.  My friend seemed in a receptive mood and that's always a good place to start.  So, I opened with "I'm always amazed at how much your life is spiritually driven and how much you attribute the wonders of our world to magical or mystical origins".  My friend responded well (given the opening) and replied with something like, "We don't call it magic".  Hmm. Well, yes, that went well.  Lets try that again.... "I mean, I've heard that people are more likely to believe something first, and only disbelieve something after some conscious examination, like if you were in the way-back machine and out on the savannah and you believed a lion was hunting you, it would be more prudent to immediately believe it was true, run away, and be wrong but alive, than to doubt the lion was hunting you and be wrong and be dead....".  "Uhm...." said my friend.....  I continued... "Well, I guess what I'm saying is similar to what many believers have told me, that its easier to believe in god than to not believe in god, and I guess I'm agreeing.  That it comes quickly and naturally to say 'Yeah! That makes sense to me!' but it doesn't necessarily get followed up on... to think retrospectively and critically to see if there might be any errors in the conclusion... any unintended biases there that might lead one to a false conclusion."..... "Uhm...." said my friend.... Then added, "Well, I can tell you a story about a fellow believer who talks to his plants and while not with them had a vision that the plants were being harmed, so he went home to discover that indeed someone had broken into his greenhouse, trampled his plants and made off with the greenhouse heater.  I believe this happened to him and that he was in communication with his plants.  I am a believer".  I listened patiently, but then responded "That just drives me CrAzY!!!  You'll believe his stories, but you wouldn't believe one of mine!".  Taken a bit aback, my friend retorted "Well, tell me a story then!  But it can't be made up.  It has to be real".  Now it was my turn to say "Uhm".  How was I gonna get back to the point from here?!?  Yikes!  "OK, so I'm a geophysicist and I'm out at a site where I need to determine the difference between...". "Hey, is this a REAL story?  It can't be made up!". "Yeah, this is real!  So, as I was saying, I need to determine how much subsurface metal is scrap metal and how much is unexploded Improvised Explosive Devises (IEDs).  I can only use physics, 'cause peoples lives are on the line".....  "Are you SURE this is a real story?" said my friend.  "Yes!  You KNOW I do this for a living!  Let me finish!.....  So I need to be able to say WHY I conclude there are 'X' percent unexploded bombs in say a particular area".... Then my friend interjects, "I'd use intuition".   "But that's my point! I CAN'T use intuition!". "Why not?" "Because you can't explain why!  You can't use it to predict the way the universe works with any kind of consistency!".  "Well of course!  Intuition is a gift from God.  Each person's gifts are unique and can't be transferred.  They're special.  They're Gifts from God".  "I don't believe in god".  "But you believe in intuition, don't you?". "Well, no, I don't" (Ugh! That's not quite right!) "Wait! I mean, I don't believe in intuition the same way that you do.  I believe that intuition is an accumulation of personal experiences that informs a person when extensive research or consideration isn't practical, but I don't believe intuition is a divine gift to a person"...... "But your friend Steve has a Gift for solving problems no one else seems to be able to solve--  I've told him he has a Gift." "I don't think it's a gift, I think it is a set of skills and proclivities...". "Well I think its a Gift from God.  Hey, you didn't finish your story about the bombs...."

Sigh....

And so it went.... our conversation.  Both of us open to hearing, but neither able to hear.  Our vocabulary is still too different.  No--  Its worse than that.  We are using the same vocabulary, but meaning different things by the same words.  Somehow, I want my friend to hear me.  I don't want to convert my friend, but I want to be known... understood.... Open, not closed.  Not confused....  I guess I'll keep trying....